According to the article entitled, “When Music Becomes Your Medicine” by Bart Astor, “Music therapy has been around for a long time — Hippocrates was known to have played music for his patients as early as 400 B.C. — but only recently became a recognized medical discipline with board certification.
It is a helpful tool for therapists in treating mental health disease, developmental and learning disabilities, dementia, and acute and chronic pain.”
Our blog this week honors Gardens of Daphne volunteer Patrick Kenny. Mr. Kenny delights the residents with his harmonica tunes and brightens their days. As there is a delightful tune played on the harmonica called the “Missippi Mud”…we are including Gardens of Daphne resident Shirley Hartley’s recipe for Missippi Mud. Mr. Kenny…look for the Gardens of Daphne to be fixing up a sweet treat just for you! Thanks for your time and dedication to bring joy to all the residents and staff at the Gardens of Daphne.
Mississippi Mud Recipe by Shirley Hartley
2 sticks of margarine
2 cups sugar
1 1/2 cups flour
1/3 cup cocoa
1 cup chopped pecans
1 teaspoon vanilla
dash of salt
3 cups miniature marshallows
1 stick margarine
1 box powcered sugar
1/3 cup cocoa
1/2 cup evaporated milk
1 cup chopped nuts
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In mixing bowl, beat butter and sugar until creamy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating thoroughly after each addition. Sift together the flour and 1/3 cup cocoa. Fold this into the creamed mixture. Add pecans and vanilla. beat well. Pour into greased and floured 9×13-inch pan. Bake 30 to 35 minutes. Sprinkle top with marshmallows. Bake until marshmallows are melted and starting to turn brown (about 10 minutes). Remove from oven and cool in pan about 30 minutes. Icing: Melt butter in saucepan. Sift together powdered sugar and cocoa. Stir sugar mixture into butter along with nuts and milk. Spread over cake.
Yield: 12 or more servings
There are many reasons that family members become concerned that an elderly loved one is not doing well. One issue that is a cause for concern is bathing or rather the lack thereof. A parent not bathing is a topic that many families are reluctant to discuss as they may be uncomfortable bringing it up. But be assured that this is an issue that many people face. It is common…but there may be multiple root causes. It is important to understand why they are reluctant. Only when you understand that the underlying reasons can you better approach and address successfully. Let’s look at some of the more common reasons.
- Fear of Falling
The bathroom can be a very dangerous place. If you have every slipped in the shower, you can relate. Now you pair the environment with physical issues like foot problems, balance issues, arthritis and more…and you have a recipe for disaster and fear.
Often elderly have issues with depression that can zap their get up and go. When you lack motivation, bathing and concerns for your grooming often go by the wayside.
- Cognitive Issues
Another reason that is very common are memory issues. If your parent has dementia or other cognitive decline, keeping up with a bathing schedule can be extremely difficult. Realizing that you haven’t taken a bath is not something they may be able to keep up with easily.
While it may be a difficult subject to approach, you must develop a plan. For some simply adding grab bars or safety equipment may help. Some may be able to follow a chart. But if it is a depression or memory issue, it may be time to consider getting help. As always discuss your concerns with a doctor. A physician may want to consider medications to help with depression. It may be time to enlist the help of a caregiver or look into an assisted living community where your loved one can have daily assistance with their activities of daily life like bathing and grooming. But don’t avoid the topic because it is messy and uncomfortable. The health benefits of cleanliness are far too important to ignore.
I think that the hardest part of being a caregiver is dealing with the guilt. There is never enough time in the day. You bought the wrong kind of soap, stamps or razors or whatever it is…you just can’t catch a break. I think that life in general can sometimes be structured to wear us down. We think we are so smart being so connected and so able to communicate and work and multi-task. Sometimes we just need to stop, push back and say…no. I am the world’s WORST at this. I don’t want to let anyone down. In my mind…my goal is to help everyone. But if I (or you) don’t take time to rest then how can we be good for anyone? So here are some tips to de-program and reduce caregiver stress.
- Ask for help. You know the help you have been providing. But write down what that help entails. No one person can do it alone. It may even be time to consider the move to an assisted living. Asking for help doesn’t mean you don’t care or that you are not going to be part of the team. It just means you care enough to reach out.
- Realize your limitations. It’s impossible to be all things to all people. Sometimes our mindset that “only we can provide the help” is actually damaging for our loved ones. You may be thinking that you are helping someone by enabling them to stay alone…when in actuality they may do better in a community setting and your “help” may be depriving them of a better situation. Meanwhile it may also be running you ragged!
- Take time for you. If you think that only taking your loved ones to their doctor visits and cancelling your checkups is going to serve you well…think again. You need time to recharge your batteries and make sure that you are healthy both mentally and physically. Many caregivers suffer serious health issues while taking care of others. Be sure to take care of you!
- Talk it out. Phone a friend.. Have dinner with your spouse or seek the counsel of a peer going through the same situation. You can even find support groups for caregivers. Your stress is not in your head! Not to mention that it is not good to keep it all inside. Having a friendly chat can prove therapeutic and can also be a way to give and get advice for those sharing similar experiences.
I can still see her face and hear her laugh. She was the first social director I knew at an assisted living. Was she on the staff? Oh no! She was a sharp dressed lady named Geraldine with an even sharper wit. Affectionately known to her family as “Gigi” she was one of the first ladies who taught me that residents in an assisted living have lots of living left to do. Ms. Geraldine would keep me apprised as to the latest “goings on” with the royals. Gigi loved Will and Kate and a good game of Skip Bo. She and the other ladies that made up her Skip Bo group were the first group I affectionately referred to as my sorority rush committee. Ms. Geraldine would be the first to tell you…life in assisted living is not about bingo and bedtime. It is much more and can be so fulfilling. She spent her golden years of life loving her family and her friends and living each day to its fullest. So, if you are looking at assisted living for yourself or a loved one…what are the benefits of the social aspects?
Harvard School of Public Health (HSPH) researchers found evidence that “elderly people in the U.S. who have an active social life may have a slower rate of memory decline. In fact, memory decline among the most sociable was less than half the rate among the least sociable. Senior author Lisa Berkman, chair of the Department of Society, Human Development and Health, went on to say, “We know from previous studies that people with many social ties have lower mortality rates. We now have mounting evidence that strong social networks can help to prevent declines in memory. As our society ages and has more and more older people, it will be important to promote their engagement in social and community life to maintain their well-being.”
Studies show that lack of socialization is linked to negative impacts on health and well-being, especially for older people. Having a variety of social opportunities and activities vastly improve the psychological and physical health of seniors. The benefits include reducing stress, increasing physical health, and defeating psychological problems such as depression and anxiety.
Assisted living promotes socialization with everything from a robust activities calendar to dining together in a community setting. Engaging in activities and other community events allows seniors to bond with new friends while promoting physical and mental health. This can prolong their quality of life and overall life expectancy. Does this sounds like something that would benefit your elderly loved one and you want to know more? Check out our latest Activities Calendar to see what is going on at one of our communities near you at www.greatoaksmanagement.com or call us today at 1-888-258-8082.
*In memory of former resident Geraldine Reilly.
Thank you to her family for allowing us to share this in her memory.
Everyone is forgetful from time to time especially when it comes to things like remembering where we put the car keys or forgetting to pick up something at the grocery store. Adults over 65 say they are more forgetful than when they were younger, sometimes having a “senior moment” when they forget something.
Occasional forgetfulness is different than dementia and as our parents age, sometimes we wonderful is the forgetfulness we see is a part of the natural aging process or the beginning of dementia or Alzheimer’s disease. As the child of a senior adult, how will I know the difference?
Research has shown that the early warning signs of dementia or Alzheimer’s disease may begin to occur years before our parents get the diagnosis, sometimes as much as 10-15 years before the diagnosis. That’s why it is important to pay attention to early signs of forgetfulness and consider a trip to the physician for a medical work up if we are concerned about the possibility that our parents may be developing dementia. Forgetting a friends name or missing a lunch date is something that people without dementia do from time to time. Someone with early dementia, though, might repeatedly forget names or plans, and forget all about the incident soon afterward. It may seem strange but while someone with early dementia may forget something that happened the previous evening, they may recall in detail events that happened in the more distant past, last year, say, or during their childhood.
The Alzheimer’s Association has published a list of 10 warning signs of dementia or Alzheimer’s disease. They are:
- Forgetfulness and memory loss
- Lack of concentration and confusion
- Losing things
- Difficulty doing familiar tasks
- Language and speaking problems
- Problems with simple math
- Poor judgment
- Personality changes and mood swings
- Changes in grooming and personal hygiene
- Withdrawing from friends and family
If you are concerned about your parent, make an appointment to see their primary care physician. There are medications available which slow the progression of some forms of dementia, but they work better if they start early in the disease.